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Monday, February 2nd, 2009
8:46 am - 冬の花火
Here's something to add to my list of reasons I love being a teacher - SNOW.

In case the reason why is not immediately obvious, let us examine the last 12 hours of my life. At about 11pm last night, there was the slightest powdery suggestion of white on the ground which may or may not have been frost. At 6am this morning when I got up, there was about 5 centimetres of pristine white snow covering the 'field. At 6:35am, when I left the house, the overcast heavens were starting to release more snow. At 7:25am when I got off of the train and made my way to the bus stop it was less snowing, and more dropping solid chunks of white fluff out of the sky. At 7:30am a random woman who had just slogged her way up the hill from Ruislip bus station informed me that there were no buses, virtually no service on the tubes, and for all intents and purposes TFL had curled up and died in the cold. At 7:31am I called the Head of German who confirmed that the school was shut.

What are the ramifications of this? 1)Three day weekend. 2)Three day weekend. 3)No fucking ghastly teenage EBD child to avoid on bus. 4)Three day weekend. 5)Not having to teach Citizenship at all this week. 6)Not having to mark Year 9 books because I left them at school. 7)Three day weekend. 8)Missing my heaviest day.

I love London's inability to deal with snow.

Did I mention I now have a three day weekend?

Seriously, I haven't been able to stop grinning the whole way back from West Ruislip. I can see out of my bedroom window from here, and it looks like Magitek armour is about to start trotting across the landscape at any moment. It's that blizzardy-cold and snowy. :D

In other news that isn't really other news, not having to teach my form how to be good citizens pleases me greatly. I saw the exam papers that they took last Monday, and read the answers. Aside from the fact a worrying contingent of them think that taxes are a service provided by local councils (...wut?), the one that really got me was the question about marriage.

Name Two Different Kinds of Marriage You Have Learned About
Previously to my inherting them, the little Year 8 'darlings' had had several sessions about arranged marriages, legislation for gay marriages, and marriages in different cultures. Presumably, whoever wrote the exam wanted them to write something like "arranged marriage", "common-law marriage", "same-sex marriage", etc. Whoever wrote the exam clearly never met my form.

Female Student #1
1. Marriage
2. Divorce

Male Student #1
1. Forced marriage
2. Unforced marriage

Male Student #2
1. Happy marriage
2. Unhappy marriage

Male Student #3
1. Arranged marriage
2. Normal marriage

Male Student #4
1. Marriage where you love someone
2. Marriage where you use your husband for his money


I think this is the point where I express my concerns about the state of society and blame the parents for everything. And now, I'm off to enjoy my third day of weekend! >:D

current mood: delighted

( 3 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

Sunday, January 25th, 2009
8:34 pm - Geplannt desu.
RIGHT. I am planned up until Wednesday, I just need to figure out where the exam papers I am doing with Yr 8 are. I has an urge to punctuate that announcement with obscenities, but I shan't. It's probably only because I hate one of my Year 8 classes, anyway. Although, it was very funny when one of them stormed out the room yelling that she hated German and hated me. >:D

Urgh, I hope I've done my prep lesson for my Year 10 class correctly. Oh well. I need to double check how I actually assess them with someone tomorrow. But right now, I'm going to do a meme because I'm slowly removing myself from my computer after having been sat at it working for eight hours. Yus. Meme.

Google meme. Gacked off Janet, as per usualCollapse )

A couple of those were amusingly accurate. Mostly the "Rachel likes" one. XD Uhm, in other news, I have no other real news. I'm tried. I'm going to bed. YooBot Hitler has still not died, despite being dangerously over-weight. >:|

current mood: tired

( choose your road )

Friday, January 9th, 2009
8:10 pm - Year 10 hath murdered sleep
So, I have a sneaking suspicion that I might have got my job because a)I <3 SMARTBoards, b)I speak Japanese, c)I'm willing to teach a Year 10 extension class after school and d)I set someone's gaydar off at my interview. The last one makes more sense if you were ever to meet the rest of the German department. XD

Joking aside, I've had a great first week. The Year 9 group that everyone slates as difficult and "naughty" have so far behaved pretty well for me. Ironically, the other Year 9 group that I was given in a pretty last-minute-kind-of-a-way were supposed to be really bright, really lovely, and one of the top forms in the school. I think they're a bunch of annoying, chatty buggers who need a good shake, but there we go.

Apropos Year 9, I had an interesting moment on the bus this morning. I sat myself down at the back, and a couple of pupils sat nearby. One leaned over; "Miss! You're my German teacher!"
"Yes I am. And I've got you this afternoon, haven't I?"
"Well, yeah, but no. I'm in isolation today."

Lovely.

In other news, I blame my school for me discovering YouBot. It is probably the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. The mouths. JESUS CHRIST THE MOUTHS. I can't look away. I actually wasted about an hour of planning time playing on it, because I could not tear myself away from the utter freakiness. Go. Create a YouBot with an actual photograph of yourself. It is as sinister and as creepy as HELL.

Also, a meme nicked off various people.Collapse )

And that's all folks. Time to go catch up on some lost sleep...

current mood: tired

( 5 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

Sunday, January 4th, 2009
11:19 pm - Further LOLage...
Woohoo, first day at school tomorrow! :D Everyone else I know who managed to start their NQT year a term before me (Pfft. French/Spanish teachers...) is not looking forward to it. Even though it seems that everyone has an INSET day. Bwhahaha. I am still very excited. I have just, in the height of sadness, made sure that my mp3 player is fully charged and ready for my commute.

I nearly called it "ridiculous" then, but realised that actually it's less of walk than Placement School 1 ever was and a shorter hike on the filthy ol' public transport, and well. Nothing can compare with the ultimate suckage that was my second School Placement in Solihul. That was truly SHIT.

Anyhoo, whilst double checking train times and hoping my Oyster card arrives tomorrow morning, I thought I'd do a meme.... >:D

In 2009, floria_del_guiz resolves to...
Find a better cheese.
Cut down on my stalking.
Become a better andorra.
Go to snwod every Sunday.
Apply for a new mesh.
Spend more time with my stick insects.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


Cut down on stalking? Well, yes, that would be highly sensible, but dammit, if the Blonde Harlot is going to go and marry a man, then I shall damn well continue stalking Scarf-tan! XD

...also, my stick insects died. :( Perhaps I can get some more from the science department... >:D

current mood: silly

( 3 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
1:46 pm - What fun!
I am going through a mass of Year 9 (Hah! Score! I only have one Year 9 class!) powerpoints to get a comprehensive list of common mistakes to go through in class. I have planned the lesson, made the IWB resources, I just need this list.

And I wish I'd done it earlier. Not because I feel pressured or low on time, but because they're so effing hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, I feel the need to offer up my favourites. It's clear that the loveable scamps used online translators. Their retardation endears these children to me. I suspect I will feel less endearment once I actually start teaching them, but eh.

Year 9 Describe Their School:
"My school is small and rather large."

"My school is in Pinner and that is in London. What fun!"

"I think german is more fun than German". [Capitalised as per original...]

"My school is very large and creepy."

"I think art is boring because it's not very good. Also, it's art."

"I is good at sport."

"Ich finde das gut weil it will make noise and the floor will be dirty." [Copied directly from slide. XD ]

School Rules
"You can't smoke in the classrooms. I think that's stupid because I love smoking."

"You may not have pierced boys."

"In my school you can't eat in the classrooms. This is good, because otherwise all my classmates would get fatter."

"Please try not to get arrested."

"Do not cry out. Do not defend yourself."

"No swearing vows."

"Please try to be of actual use."

current mood: LOLLOLLOL

( 3 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
5:50 pm - Blargles
URGH. Today has not gone well. As a result of not-going-well-ness I have made absolutely zero progress with any of my planning for next week. Yes, it's next week now. HORRORS. I have made a list detailing everything I want to do with each of my classes for every lesson next week, I have remote access to school resources, I have textbooks galore, but I just have not quite been able to sit down and actually write a coherent lesson plan out and make the IWB resources for it.

In other news that doesn't involve me being a failure as a responsible adult, Hamlet was ace. In fact, I have a shrewd suspicion that the lack of David Tennant gurning madly throughout was a marked improvement. I was vaguely irritated by the woman who seemed to take five minutes to unwrap a sweet, however. And the woman behind me who suddenly made a ghastly noise as though she was re-routing the entire flow of mucas from her nose to the back of her throat. Or possibly vice-versa. Serious yuckies, anyway.

Oh, and I bought myself Devil May Cry 4 for Christmas. I have it for the PC, which is nice. I am not going to buy a PS3 until FFXIII makes its way over here. And since The Last Remnant apparently sucks, I now don't even need to feel even slightly tempted to get an Xbox. In your face, next-gen consoles.

Anyhoo. DMC4. It's pretty, I like it, and I'm finding it easier than the first one. I say this, because I am still stuck on the first one, despite having had it for a very long time. (That said, I'm still stuck on Kingdom Hearts, but then most people I know are still stuck in that fucking jungle. I mean, seriously. There is no escape from that place.) The controls are a lot more fluid, too. It gets win points from me.

And that's about enough from me today, or else I am going to break into a stream of maudlin angst about religious and gender bias in history and the media. To achieve the same effect in the comfort of your own home, go read something by either Naomi Wolf or Claudia Schoppmann. Or you could just have a much merrier evening and play a Capcom game and/or eat a delicious pie. Mmmm, pie.

current mood: crushed

( 7 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

Friday, December 26th, 2008
5:50 pm - Memes and Other Things
Epic Saturday tomorrow. Epic Saturday is a new day which has been spontaneously added to this holiday because people are retarded and would give up their precious tickets to see the RSC performing Hamlet just because the goggly-eyed man from Dr. Who has broken his leg. Or back. Or whatever it was he broke. I am far too excited to care, as Janet and I now have some of these elusive tickets for tomorrow. RAHR and WIN.

On a less hyper note, I have managed to survive my parents doing their usual trick of restructuring the entire house at Christmas time with only minimal carpet burns, and the horrors of Christmas and Boxing Day have passed. More or less. Which means after Epic Saturday I need to get off my backside and get all my lessons planned for the first week of school, because ARGH. Tuesday is actually my fullest timetabled day. Monday might be worse, but only because there's a special period for Citizenship which goes before period one. However, my Year 8 form appear to not hate Citizenship the way the little shits I taught on my PGCE did, so that's a small mercy.

Anyhoo! Time for a meme which I gacked off fuunsaiki . Oooh, it's all literary...ish.
Go to http://quotationspage.com/random.php3 and browse the random quotes until you find five that you think reflect who you are or what you believe.

  • "To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive." -Robert Louis Stevenson


  • "What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!" - Nathaniel Hawthorne


  • "A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child." - H. L. Mencken


  • "Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." - Michel de Montaigne


  • "The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, 'It's a girl.'" - Shirley Chisholm


  • current mood: good

    ( 7 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Monday, December 1st, 2008
    3:26 pm - AWESOME THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY
    1. Ticketmaster finally sent me my Wicked tickets.
    2. Cab-drivers in the Ruislip/Pinner area. Dey is da dudes innit. Respectin the cabbie massif.
    3. The man in Subway giving me a free donut.
    4. I have a job.

    A real job.

    I can has job now.

    Yep, after the Christmas holidays I shall be teaching German and maybe even some Japanese at a "High Performing Specialist School and designated DCSF Language College" in Hillingdon.

    NQT YEAR FUCK YEAH!

    current mood: ecstatic

    ( 2 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Friday, November 28th, 2008
    11:38 am - Japes with telesales people...
    I am in my room, packing for what is now, in hindsight, an unfortunately timed trip. The phones rings. As I am half-expecting to be called at some point re: the somewhat terrifying interview I have on Monday, I answer the phone.

    RACHEL: "Hello?"
    *static*
    TELESALES: "...hello."
    R: "Hello?"
    T: "Hello, thanks for answering the phone. How are you today?"
    R: "...I have just had my leg amputated by a rabid wolverine."
    T: "Well, don't worry, this isn't a soft sales call. I'm calling from *mumblemumble* Western *somethings*. If you could replace all the windows in your house, free of charge, how many would you replace?"
    R: "Oh. Well. I don't have any windows. I live in a box."
    T: "...you live in a box?"
    R: "Yes, that's right. A box with no windows."
    T: "Riiiight. Okay, thank you, buh-bye. *CLICK*"

    I like the way it was the 'box with no windows' that made her hang up, not the 'leg amputated by a rabid wolverine'. I LoL'd.

    current mood: amused

    ( 4 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Friday, November 21st, 2008
    7:46 pm - Quat?
    So, from Monday I will be teaching random French to primary school children, and unless I manage to get a full-time post teaching German for January, I will be teaching MORE French part-time in Cressex after Christmas.

    This amuses and terrifies me, too.

    So, yeah. German!Rachel - teacher of French.

    In other news, I would pay good money to have Chris Riddell draw my comic strip ideas. I love that man's artwork. I am rereading the EDGE Chronicles in time-line order, and it has to be said that the TWIG trilogy is by far the most superior in terms of narrative, but the QUINT trilogy wins on artwork. I still fail to understand why they had to change the covers so that the awesome Riddell-ness was virtually eliminated. I mean, BLARGH. The original Curse of the Gloamgloazer cover was about a billion times better than the stupid new version. And, alas, I have the stupid new version just so my QUINT books all match.

    I wanna be a sky pirate. Or a librarian knight. Somehow I have ended up being a peripatetic French teacher instead. Most puzzling!

    Apropos French, just over three weeks until I go and see Wicked with Dawn! Woohooo! *happy dance*

    -Sparkly!Nonvampire!FrenchTeacher!Rachel out!

    current mood: good

    ( choose your road )

    Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
    6:21 pm - Completely Pointless Update on Rachel's Uninteresting Life
    Today was spent mostly phoning more schools up, and was not entirely without reward. I'm off to have a chat with the headteacher of a nearby school on Friday, and I might be able to go off on a school trip to the British Museum with my mother's Year Fives in December.

    I am quite looking forward to December. My youngest sister will be back in the country - how hard she will find the gloomy English climate when she's been sunning herself in California all this time - and there will be the usual roasted Christmas food. Finally, I will be allowed to eat carbs once more! A pox on Ria and mother's evil diet!

    Also, Scarf-tan agreed to come down to London and see a show with me in December. Needless to say, this pleases me greatly. Because I am a way-too optimistic loser, mostly, but eh.

    Apropos Scarf-tan, I was up in that part of the world last weekend. It was a weekend of fireworks and castles! Scarf-tan, Heike and I went up to Warwick Castle and charged about like excitable and mooncalf children rather than respectable qualified teachers. Warwick Castle is pretty sweet. It's actually the first time I'd been there, since the few times I'd been at a school (as both student and teacher) there had been a trip there I was precluded from going.

    Anyway. Warwick Castle. Peacock Garden. Ah, peacocks. The peacock garden explained why I once encountered a peacock on my way to school when I was on teaching placement in Warwick. It was also a good opportunity to watch Scarf-tan being scared to death. Warwick Castle provided many good opportunities for watching Scarf-tan being scared to death. The Ghost Tower show - which basically consisted of whited-up actors leaping out of darkened corners at people - was my favourite bit. Heike managed to get slightly lost in there, which was impressive, since there were only three rooms.

    In other news which doesn't involve me gallivanting off with retardedly cute Devonshire girls and anglophile Germans, Persona 3: FES. I can't remember why I was so determined I had to play P3, but I do remember not being able to find a copy. Then the shiny extended FES version came out, and GAME decided that I actually had managed to acrue enough points on my card to let me have it for cheap. The rest, as they say, is history.

    Or, more accurately, the rest is Rachel spent every waking moment when there was no-one else around playing the game.

    Seriously. It is fiendishly adictive. Or rather, it's fiendishly addictive if you happen to think that the bastard love-child of FFVIII and Pokémon with a soupçon of Shadow Hearts sounds like a good idea. And that's just the battle system. When you're not trawling through a tower full of evil in the middle of the night, the main character is a Japanese high-school student. I actually broke with standard Rachel-playing-an-RPG-convention and did not name the main character Rachel. (...although, as I called him 'Rei', that probably doesn't count for much.)

    The fun part is that your character's ability to create 'Personas' - the de facto magic attacks - are based on your social links to the people you interact with in school and outside of it. How you respond to other students affects how they perceive you which in turn affects your stats or the strength of the Persona corresponding to that social link. I encourage the Disciplinary Committee Chairman to be a complete dick so that he likes me more so that my Emperor Arcana Persona are more powerful. XD

    It's hideously geeky. It's also great fun. Especially when class teachers randomly pick on my character to answer questions that, presumably, would be standard general knowledge/trivia to a Japanese kidult, but occasionally flummox me. Or have been adapted into Americanised English, thus causing me to get the wrong answers. In Rei's English lessons. Honestly! I am a teacher of languages! I know my subordinate clauses! The comma doesn't go there in English English, you stupid NPC!

    Uh, anyway. P3. It threatened to swallow my life. I am only on hiatus from playing it at the moment, because the living room is being drastically altered now, and I cannot sit there and save the world from the shadows whilst David the Wallpaper Boy is making a mess.

    ...ja, anyway. I have nothing else very constructive to do right now, so I might go and eat something. How exciting it is to be me!

    current mood: okay

    ( choose your road )

    Thursday, October 9th, 2008
    8:22 pm - Immer noch nicht tot.
    Soso, LiveJournal. I am still not dead.

    Of course, I am still lacking interesting things to report. Since I chronicled my adventures during teacher training in cartoon form, I had no real need to write them down here. And now that I am distinctly lacking in the meaningful employment department, I still have nothing to write about.

    Apart from possibly video games.

    Or CSI: Miami.

    Anyhoo, life in general should perk up soonish. I'm off to Woventry tomorrow for a friend's birthday party, which means I get to see the MFL people again, and then next weekend is the wedding of a friend from school (as in, when I was at school!). Should be fun.

    I thought I'd be looking forward to popping back up to Woventry more than this, though. Maybe this is because I don't think I'm going to get to see Scarf-tan after all, which kinda makes the whole trip a little fail. Gah.

    Actually, the 6th season of CSI: Miami is pretty cool so far. Its super-high levels of retardedness make it so. I love the way that Horatio is now apparantly now allowed to just shoot people. All the time. Without any consequences. And can teleport through space and time. Not even my ultra-cool sunglasses confer such powers on me.

    Calleigh is also still ridiculous hawt. I hope the producers decide to kill off the stupid hare-lipped midget cop and finally let Calleigh and Boa Vista hook up. It makes sense in my head. ...I suppose Calleigh/Delko would also be acceptable.

    Y'know, I think I shall go and watch more CSI now. Bwahaha.

    current mood: blah

    ( 2 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Monday, July 7th, 2008
    10:46 pm - Es ist vorbei, vorbei, bei, byebye...
    So. I are teh Newly Qualified Teacher.

    That's... kind of weird. I think I'd feel more like "FEAR ME I AM TEACHER!" if I actually had a job for September, but still. I'm certainly not sad that my placement in Nightsoilihull is over.

    What I shall miss are the other trainees on my course. I kind of figured, before I really got to know people that the kind of people who'd go straight onto a PGCE course from uni would be do-gooder types and boring geeky types. HAH. Wrong. There was Heike, so full of hate in such an awesome way; Anthony, the Woventry version of Johannes; Scarf-tan, of whom one of my earliest memories of is the both of us screaming with laughter at "Puke the Cat" a whole ten minutes after everyone else stopped and Ann wanted to continue the lecture; to name but a few.

    I'm kind of bummed that the people I like the most are staying up here and I'm not. I think, if I'm honest, it would bother me much less if Scarf-tan wasn't going to be staying up here as well. It's almost as if I can't bear the thought that everyone else gets to see her and I won't. *sigh*

    BLAH BLAH ANGST ANGST ANGST.

    Focusing on the good stuff, though, the whole PGCE experience was pretty ace. It's kind of funny going back to some of the earlier stuff I've written and seeing how I referred to people before I got to know them. I think Woventry!Christof still works for Tim, though, and Woventry!Monika for Victoria, all though, to be fair, Monika never tried to drag me off and molest me, nor told the whole course that she has sex dreams about me. Good old Victoria. ><

    Woventry!FrenchGirl was quite inspired for Fiona, although I can't believe I didn't notice in those first few days just how orange she is.

    Oh, yeah, and I suppose I should say something about how teaching has made me into a more and responsible adult. ... It's made my teacher personality more responsible. teh Rachel, on the otherhand, is still as big a retard as ever. She must be, otherwise I would not have ended up being in what I fear might actually be love with a devoutly religious straight girl. OOOH RACHEL SO CLEVER.

    "I can't imagine you in the classroom," said Andy on our graduation day. I explained that I don't go in the classroom. Frau G., my alter-ego does. Teaching is acting, only with more danger of death.

    And one of these days, I am going to either refer to myself in the first person or the third person the whole way through and stop skipping about. But first, I am going to play Pokémon. Professor Rowan's assistant is called Dawn. This is funny on so, so many levels.

    current mood: indescribable

    ( 4 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Thursday, June 5th, 2008
    6:01 pm - Good, better, best. Sound, safe, sick.
    Going back up to the stairs from the cantine to the staff room today, I hear a little voice say; "Hi, Miss!"

    I turn around to see one of my little Year 7s and his friend walking behind me. I forbear to point out that they're walking up the down stairs, and return the greeting. I then speed up to get into the staffroom as quickly as possible.

    As I'm vanishing through the door, I hear:
    "What's that teacher's last name?"
    "That's Miss G________."
    *pause* "Is she sound?"

    I never found out, alas, whether or not I am a sound teacher. I'm not entirely sure I want to, either.

    current mood: amused

    ( choose your road )

    Thursday, April 24th, 2008
    9:07 pm - Dark mutterings...
    Today was fairly crap. The whiney faggots in the NUT being big giant lefty babies meant that Year 7 were given the day off, meaning that my ICT lesson with my most difficult class didn't happen. Which means that next Tuesday I'm going to get the usual "UUUUURRRR Miss, why aren't we going to the compyoootars!?"

    Honestly, the accents some of the child in this school have. I occasionally cannot understand a single bloody thing they are saying, and I'm a languages teacher.

    Also, I had a formal observation with the mental woman from the university. For once, Year 10 did not call me Steve. This was pleasing. I didn't feel the lesson went all that well, however, since it was the last period of the day and they were all a bit rowdy. Oh, and the blasted woman was late. She actually came into my lesson late, dragging my mentor (the usual class teacher) with her. And then had the nerve to mark me down on "start of lesson" on my observation form. The start of the lesson wasn't actually too bad, if you count the fact that a Year 10 boy was weeping outside of the classroom as I went outside to let them all in. ¬_¬

    At least no-one ran out of the room. I had a great conversation with a Year 9 today:
    "Hi, Miss!"
    "Uh, hello!" *do I teach this child!?*
    "Miss, are you teaching tomorrow?"
    "Um, yes?"
    "Are you teaching us?"
    "Uh... yes? Wait, which class are you in again?"
    "Year 9. French. Don't worry, I won't run out of the classroom again!"
    "Oh good." Oo;;

    This was in response to a lesson I observed with the Head of French. The child stormed out of the room and ran all the way down to the maths corridor. Muggins had to go after her and coax her back up the stairs. And then the class teacher shouted at her again, so she ran off a second time.

    I take this set over next week, I think. Should be interesting...

    Anyway. Bloody university observation. This woman is notorious for being odd toward Germanists. I went and hid in a cupboard after the lesson - "Just need to get my Professional Development Portfolio to show you!" - and sent a frantic text to the current unrequited angst object. This calmed me enough to return to the room. Then the oddness began. I threw a Sachiko Ogasawara, and my mentor had to go and bring me coffee to calm me down.

    Honestly, though - why would you slate the German language to someone who teaches it?! And why would she start doing what employers and Other Univesities did and start making odd clucking noises about my Master's Degree? Bloody good thing I didn't mention my TEFL, or my class of undergraduate degree. Both my mentor and the Head of Department had to butt in a couple of times to correct what she was saying, and heap large gobbets of praise upon me.

    Once I got away and found a bus to make the two hour journey back to Woventry I sent more SMSs out bemoaning my plight. Lengthy discussion with Scarf-tan followed. German friend simply came back with "Oh, scheiss auf Joan. She is insane." Scarf-tan gets points for being adorable. German!Heike gets points for making me laugh.

    I'm quite highly strung at the moment, I feel. Friday night through Sunday morning will be spent applying pear cider to my the hideous wounds to my psyche. No Scarf-tan stalkage this weekend, however, which is sad-making. I have had quite a good run for stalking her this week, though, and that not even intentionally! :D

    I need dinner now. Fatty foods also placate hysterical student teachers.

    current mood: drained

    ( 1 regalia on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
    9:36 pm - Dear Year 7,
    I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN.

    I don't know why you would think this. Possibly because you're all a bunch of horrible little northern gobshites, and everytime you open your mouths I want to laugh at your ghastly working-class accents?

    Just a thought.

    --

    Dear Year 8,

    We make cubes out of cats because I am the mad teacher with mad hair.

    Safe.

    --

    Dear Year 10,

    I don't really want to teach you tomorrow. This is why I'm playing on Livejournal.

    xxx

    current mood: silly

    ( 3 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Monday, February 4th, 2008
    5:49 pm - [Zoku] Rachel-sensei
    I went to my new school today.

    ...

    FUUUUUUUCK.

    ...

    I watched two teachers RAPE the German language. As in, hideous-tentacles-in-the-pooper-raep RAPE.

    *hyperventilates*

    Other than that, the kids are really nice, and I have befriended the librarian. We had a nice chat about most-thieved children's authors. After we established that, no, I had never been to the school before. No, we had never met before. No, I had no idea why I should look familiar.

    The other staff seem nice, too, but ARGH. I'm supposed to produce, execute and evaluate two CLIL lessons as part of the university requirements for passing my course and getting Qualified Teacher Status. I'm thinking if I just invent some, no-one'll ever know.

    ...

    I can't wait to be teaching these kids. Someone needs to teach them non-raped German.

    ...

    In other news, I spent my first school posting watching Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. Now the second series has come out just in time for my second posting. This is somehow very appropriate.

    ...

    I still cannot get over those lessons I watched. @_@

    ...

    It's like raising beautiful, silky-haired cute twittering friendly little guinea pigs for years, then moving to Mexico and being handed a crispy ketchup-doused one on a stick.

    Die arme, arme deutsche Sprache...

    current mood: mourning the German language

    ( choose your road )

    Friday, January 25th, 2008
    2:27 pm - Greetings, earthlings.
    Hello, world. Just reminding you, as I infrequently do, that I have not dropped off of the face of the world. Yet, anyway...

    At some point in November my life exploded into a high-speed adrenaline-fuelled swirl of madness which some might choose to describe as "teaching". It was great fun, I was well-fed, and apparently I'm pretty good at it; for a trainee, I know, but still. >:D

    Then, I spent most of the Christmas holidays being ill. Go figure. Now I'm back in the diresputable student slums of Woventry, trying to figure out how to arrange carriage to Nightsoilhul for my next teaching practice.

    Hmm. Anything else to report? I'm having a very odd week. Last night was ace, though. I may have to draw cartoons. XD Übrigens, the chronicles of my teacher training hijinx can be found in illustrated form in my Facebook album. Which would be a good reason for Johannes to get a Facebook now, wouldn't it? :P

    ... have run out of things to say now.

    current mood: cheerful

    ( choose your road )

    Thursday, November 8th, 2007
    6:55 pm - What I Have Learned Since October...
    So, the whole teaching malarky is still going well. Sort of. The bits where I actually am in a classroom with children are brilliant. Allow me to revise my previous statements about hating children. I like children fine, when they're contained within a school. I especially like them when they are giving their undivided attention.

    In fact, teaching Year 10 on Tuesday was a bit like consuming a massive vat of sherbert. I was in a state of barely contained glee for the rest of the day because they actually listened to me, and did the work I gave them. And waited for me to dismiss them, instead of charging out of the room the minute the bell went.

    And SCHOOL is a comprehensive.

    I was in a brilliant mood until one of my university tutors came for her scheduled visit that afternoon, and chronicled for me the sheer insane amount of paperwork and log-keeping I have to produce and the myriad Herculean labours I must perform before Christmas. -_-

    It's honestly dreadful. I actually don't understand how they expect people to write three Master's degree standard essays, produce several thousand words of extra-curricular assignments, charter their every waking second in school AND cope with the daily workload of a teacher.

    Strangely, I don't feel particularly worried about doing all the work. The only thing that I do genuinely worry about is teaching a bad lesson. Or maybe forgetting that corporal punishment is a no-no and smacking a child over the head with a book. Some of them really do need smacking over the head with a book.

    Anyway, workload. It pisses me off more than anything. I should actually be typing up a lesson observation right now, but I somehow got distracted. And I figure writing something will get me into a working-kinda mood. So will recounting some of the wisdom spending eight hours a day in school has granted me...

    What I Learned in SCHOOL:
  • "Switzerland is odd. It likes to be odd. It's always odd."

  • TEACHER: "So who can tell me what we've learned about [French] nouns?"
    PUPIL: "That they can be masculine and femminine and it's confusing."

  • 'Fahrkarte' is not German for 'Go-Kart'. Nor 'driving licence'. XD

  • "Just put your hand up, and this will stop."

  • TEACHER: "What do we think the 'Low Countries' might be?"
    PUPIL: "Ireland!"

  • Nobody wants to teach the German word for 'kangeroo rat', but it appears to be in the Scheme of Work.


  • I also intend to start tallying the number of times I am asked if I am German, the number of times my class of Year 12s (all four of them) stare at me in fear, and the number of times a random child greets me in the corridor. So far the scores are 3, 13, 2. I love my Year 12 class. XD I think they're still shell-shocked by having to speak German to me...

    Actually, I think almost all of my classes are pretty cool*. I know some of their names already. ... Yeah, the four sixth formers, plus the naughty ones and the spods in the lower years. Actually, in my Year 10 class, the naughty ones are the spods. XD

    *The exceptions being my Year 7 Mongoloids and the Year 8 form I'm attatched to. Year 8 form has the crazy "Miss why you followin' me!?" girl in it... Hideous. >_<

    Anyway, wittered enough. Time to cook me some foodz now. My cooking can't compare to the wonders that are school dinners, but still. And yes, I meant that seriously. School dinners are THE BEST THING EVER. And not just because I'm fed for free. EVERYTHING has melted cheese on/in it. ... Everything that I choose to eat, anyway.

    Now I'm really hungry. So much for writing that lesson evaluation...

    current mood: working

    ( 2 regalias on the trophaeum :: choose your road )

    Thursday, November 1st, 2007
    4:43 pm - Agitated Screams of Rachels
    Wazzzaaap. Since last I wrote, I have learned that whilst lesson planning by itself isn't too dreadfully problematic, transcribing one's lesson plan to the university's fiendishly complex and somewhat soul-destroying pro-forma lesson plan sheet IS.

    I have been a little cranky the last couple of days because of this. ¬_¬ Apparently I am expected to plan all of my lessons using this hateful pro-forma. I would really rather not. Or, at least, I would rather use a simplified one that doesn't have seventy million boxes to be filled in.

    That aside, I enjoyed a very restful half-term week. Well, 'restful' is a subjective term, but what wasn't spent in Woventry's take on the Chamber of Hatred fruitlessly searching for reference books published more recently than 2001, was either spent in the presence of people and drinks, or back home in the South.

    It was at home I finally got to play my copy of Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria. It took me a while to get used to the fact that it is, essentially, a side-scrolling game. In fact, it's a whole lot like the version of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons I used to play on my Dad's Intellivision console. Only PRETTY. OH SO SQUEENIXLY PRETTY. And the actual battle encounters work a lot more like a glitchier version of FFXII, but still.

    So far - and I only don't think I've had more than twelve hours of play - I'm enjoying it, despite the slight oddness of playing sideways on. The English voice-overs occasionally grate, but on the otherhand knowing that the Japanese voice for Silmeria is Noda from Nodame Cantabile might just have given me the giggle fits at in appropriate moments.

    It's a very, very pretty game, though. Okay, Lezard is very, very pretty. And Lezard must always be in my party at all times, even when mages are useless. If I ever get tired of my Marimite LJ-theme, I might have a Lezard one.

    Back to reality, aka teaching, I'm still loving SCHOOL. On Monday I will be teaching my first lesson, which is Year 12 German conversation. Huzzah! :D This is not, by the way, the lesson plan which sent me into such a frenzy. That lesson plan is for Wednesday, and has nothing to do with SCHOOL, but rather a Year 9 Convention that the university has scheduled.

    The idea of this is that a tonne of Year 9 kids (Hahhah... got told off for calling them 'kids' in my lesson plan. XP ) are shipped into Woventry uni and my fellow teacher trainees and I gabble away in foreign at them until they relent and agree to do languages for GCSE.

    Wow. Just thinking about that reminds me how tired I am. And how hungry. Time for some FOODS methinks!

    current mood: hungry

    ( choose your road )

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